Failure By Design: Brand New

At about 3:26 a.m. I became a defeatist. Yet again.

It took me about 4 hours to realize that I'm going to fail this biology test anyway. You can't learn an entire unit in one night. Not in biology. Government is a different story. Especially when you know it all already. Maybe I should just become a poli sci major.

So now, I'm sitting on my boyfriend's bed, listening to Jay-Z and occasionally glancing at the battery meter in the bottom right corner of my screen. I've creeped people on Facebook, uploaded pictures to Myspace for absolutely no reason, and taken a nice shower. I'm not tired; I took Excedrin earlier. "Well, my headache is gone, but WHY CAN'T I SLEEP?" Oh yeah, because Excedrin has caffeine. Brilliant, Kelsey.

Obviously, I'm tired. But in conjunction with the caffeine, I'm worried. So no sleep.

You see, this is my train of thought: I will fail biology. My parents will kill me. I won't get into a good grad school. I'll lose my scholarship. I'll get fat. I'll never get married. I'll become a crazy cat lady. And I'll die alone without having accomplished one single thing in my adult like that I was proud of. All because of one test.

My rationale, of course, could not be any more clear.

This is a lesson in procrastination,

I kill myself because I'm so frustrated.

Every single second that I put it off

is another lonely night I got to race the clock.

~Failure By Design: Brand New

Also, this little line that always make me LOL:

It's crazy how you can go

from being Joe Blow,

to everybody on your dick,

no homo.

~part of Kanye's part in 'Run This Town.'